The first time Cecilia showed me that she had learned to cross her eyes; I laughed and gave the behavior lots of attention. As Ceci continued to demonstrate this behavior, I became increasingly annoyed, not to mention that it is probably unhealthy for her eyes. Gradually, the behavior began to diminish. In fact, I haven’t seen those eyes cross for at least a couple of weeks. What happened to change the behavior, you ask? I changed MY behavior. I started to ignore her when she’d tap on my hip to show me her silly cross-eyed facial expression. Instead, I’d point out something positive. “Ceci,” I’d say, “You did such a good job brushing your hair. It looks beautiful.”
The formula goes like this: If you want to see more of a behavior, praise it and give it plenty of attention. On the other hand, if you want a behavior to go away, don’t give it any attention. The phrase we use here at Partners In Learning goes like this:
YOU GET MORE OF WHAT YOU PAY ATTENTION TO. It’s true.
Katherine Generaux
Community Inclusion Specialist
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