Do We Build Up or Tear Down?

Have we ever considered the words we use when our children come to us? Are we negative or positive? Do we say- "You could have done better?" or "Why didn't you do it this way or that way?" or "You should do this or that"? Well they may just seem like words to us, but to our chld, they can tear them down. Negative words can have a negative impact, it can cause our children to stop trying. They can make them feel like they will never be able to do anything right.

As parents we want our children to always strive to be the best they can be. We want them to never give up. Do we want them to improve?  Of course we do. So how can we do that in a positive way?

Well whenever they come to us with something, stop. Yes, stop what we are doing and give them undivided attention. This lets them know that they are important to us.  When they do something well, or are proud of an accomplishment, praise them. Let them know you like their effort. If they aren't happy with something, tell them that they gave a good effort, ask them what they are unhappy about. When you have figured that out, then talk with them in a positive way and see what can be done. You can say "Well, what would you do differently?" or "How do you think that you could make it better?"  When it comes to something that we want them to change or to work on, then what do we do?  Well we can tell them what they are doing well, tell them what we want them to improve on or change, and finish with something that they are doing well.

By following these simple suggestions, we will have children that will want to excel and they will want to put effort into whatever they do. We will have children that realize that what they do is important to us and that we support their efforts. They will also realize that whether they do something good or not so good, that we are on their side and that we only want them to be their best.