When your child does something that you want to see happen again, acknowledge the behavior. By letting your child know that you are pleased with her/his behavior in a particular situation, you are providing verbal reinforcement. Very often we focus the majority of our attention on the behaviors we don’t want our child to exhibit, though many times the misbehavior is motivated by a desire for attention. If the consequence is attention, (even negative attention is attention), then it is highly likely that the misbehavior will continue to occur.
Of course, some misbehavior must be addressed, but there is that old adage about picking your battles. The saying we have around here is: “You get more of what you pay attention to.” Try focusing more of your attention on the positive.
(Note: This also works with the adults in your life.)
Katherine Generaux
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